4 Postpartum Emotions No One Warned Me About
I'm going to keep it all the way real on today's post because I feel very strongly about this topic. I never thought that I would experience the range of emotions that I did after having Amira because I never knew it happened. We are all fed these images of motherhood perfection on social media when in actuality navigating motherhood is really very HARD.
I feel like it's very taboo to talk about this because you don't want anyone to get the impression that you're either not grateful or that you're weak. Giving birth to my daughter was an incredibly beautiful experience that left me feeling so overjoyed and truly thankful. On the other hand, the massive hormonal changes and sleep deprivation that came with motherhood caused the emotions on the other end of the spectrum to arise. I'm not afraid to admit what I experienced and I hope that it helps another mom out there who may be feeling the same way. It's important to recognize these emotions and cope with them in the healthiest way possible in order to heal.
I knew about the baby blues prior to being pregnant but I didn't really know what it was going to feel like. I remember crying like a lot after I had Amira and it was pretty overwhelming for me. I was overjoyed to have my beautiful healthy baby girl but for some reason the baby blues just took over and I would literally cry at the drop of a hat. I knew that this was completely normal and that I just had to give myself and my body time to regulate to postpartum life. What helped me during this time was to talk out how I was feeling with my husband, resting, and asking for help when I needed it.
I never had experienced actual anxiety before until I had Amira and it was a very crippling moment in my life. I was never diagnosed with it because I didn't speak to a professional but I wholeheartedly believe I was experiencing some form of postpartum anxiety from her birth to about 3-4 months. Like most mothers I was anxious and cautious but these feelings for me were just so intense and magnified. I was scared, worried, and overwhemeld about EVERYTHING to the point where it became debilitating. For example, I didn't leave my apartment very often because I was scared something would happened if I went out with the baby alone. This was so unlike me and thankfully my husband really helped to pull me out of this state of mind. We worked on identifying my anxiety triggers and would work through them which helped me gain more confidence and worry less about the things I can't control. I do not experience that level of anxiety anymore but when I do feel some form of anxiousness coming on I take a moment to pray and let it go. If you're experiencing this, please reach out and speak to someone!
There were so many moments I felt frustrated that I wasn't getting this mom thing right. The transition wasn't smooth for me and to be honest I don't think it's smooth for any first time mothers. I was mourning my old self while trying to be PERFECT at being a mom which was a recipe for disaster looking back. I learned quickly to give myself grace and to patient with the journey instead of trying to get everything right.
I doubted everything when Amira was a newborn! I used to doubt if I was feeding her, napping her, changing her, or bathing her correctly! I mean you name it I doubted myself. Babies don't come with an instruction manual so it's completely normal to feel uneasy about things. There are moments that I still feel doubt but I've learned to trust my gut instinct first!
If you feel like the postpartum emotions that you are experiencing are intense and getting in the way of your daily life, I urge you to reach out and speak to someone! Remember that you're still a ROCK STAR mom but it's always okay to ask for help!