Diary of a First Time Mom: How to Balance Being a New Mom
MAMA SHE BE TIRED.
I'm writing this blog post legit half asleep at 7:45pm about 30 seconds away from passing out on my keyboard. Before we had Amira, I naively thought that I would be able to balance being a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, blogging, and everything else! Like how hard could it actually be? Short answer is so f***ing hard. As put together as my Instagram may seem, what many of you don't see are my mismatched sweatpants, crazy hair, zero makeup, and mini mom meltdowns / anxiety attacks. The transition into motherhood is one that I am HONORED to be going through (I love my baby SO much is not normal haha) but what no one tells you is how NOT pretty it can be. It's a huge shift from what life was like before you had your baby, literally the day before I gave birth I was an entirely different person than I am now.
However it's so important to me as a mother to not loose my identity in this messy yet MAGICAL season of motherhood. There will always be many ups, downs, and extreme curve balls thrown my way but I am determined to find balance. I by no means want to paint a picture that I have it all together, because I don't. However, it's important to me not to loose sight of who I am as an individual. Here are the steps that I'm taking to find balance as a new mom!
1. Wholeheartedly accept the fact that your life is VERY DIFFERENT than it was before your baby
This is a fact and not even something that is up for debate. Your life is forever changed the day you give birth to your child. I never felt so many emotions in my life after I gave birth to Amira. I was so OVERWHELMED with love and also worry because I have this beautiful human who depends on me for everything. Your priorities, your schedule, sleeping, eating, and your mindset shift so very quickly that it's easy to loose your identity in that. Give yourself some time to get readjusted to your new role as a mother! There will be highs and lows but you will build your confidence over time as the "new" you.
2. Nap Time = Me Time
Every time the baby goes down for their nap use this opportunity to do something for yourself. I write a to-do list every day and try to accomplish something from that list during each nap! I mean I'm not blowing through the list by any means but I do feel accomplished if get to a handful of tasks each day. Whether it be to pay bills, work on a blog post, prep dinner, or even take my own nap it helps to use that time to do so!
3. Talk to other adults
In the very beginning, I used to overwhelm my husband when he got home from work by wanting to talk about ANYTHING haha! He was such a champ about it even though I know he wanted to decompress from his own hectic day at work with silence. However, he knew how important it was for me to just talk to another adult and not to a baby who couldn't talk back to me (which can be so isolating sometimes). I now make it a point to have baby free conversations with adults whether it's my husband, mom, sister, best friend, or brothers just to feel like a normal adult (even for an hour). Soon I plan on taking this a step further and going out for more date nights and girls nights!
4. Don't let go of your passion projects or hobbies
This is hard because there are days when you're so completely burnt out that the idea of working on a hobby is an actual joke. I had a bit of a rough patch recently where I just let blogging go for a bit because by the time I had a second to sit down on the computer my mind just went blank. I really didn't want to give it up though (especially after all of these years) so I'm making it a point to prioritize blogging in my week. It makes me happy to connect with my readership and other mothers out there so It's important to me to keep this blog going!
5. Take care of yourself
Don't forget to take care of yourself, seriously! I put myself last A LOT lately, but I do try to carve out time for the things that make me feel good about me. Whether it's getting my nails done at the salon every few weeks, throwing on a face mask, or attempting to work out. I really try hard to make time for me, it's so important!
6. Ask for help
THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME. I'm insanely stubborn to the point where feel like I can do everything myself (which is so silly) but I've learned that with having a baby you can't do it all. There are days when you just need someone to your baby while you get some chores done or run to the grocery store solo. The saying "it takes a village" is REAL and there is no shame in asking for help from your family and friends!